Letting Go of Toxic Relationships
A few years ago I knew in my gut that I was hanging onto relationships which no longer served me- or them. I hadn’t yet healed significant childhood trauma surrounding some of these people and so I was trapped in a prison of my own ego’s making, so many false negative beliefs I’d learned early on still looming.
“Little did I know just how much energy this was taking away from my healing of body, mind, and spirit.“
Little did I know just how much energy this was taking away from my healing of body, mind, and spirit. These people had sadly lost any real significance years prior and were only bringing
more negative energy to me and I didn’t need any more of that.
Most of them were not even doing it with ill intention and in fact, one or two thought they were helping me out by being in my life, but were actually only feeding my negative energy, undeserved shame and self loathing.
In a word, I felt small, and in fact it was my inner child I was acting out from much of the time. When she wasn’t foggy and trying to further forget, she was sad, terrified, shameful and confused. She would soon begin to beg me for peace and implore me to cut all ties with those who so contributed to her suffering, whether it was out of malicious intent or not.
What mattered now was that she be heard, believed, and proven to be important enough and safe enough for my adult self to cut the cord, so to speak; to cut the cord to this toxic shame... to finally free us from the ties that bind us to living small, to stepping into our true power and being our authentic selves.
Only I could help her to heal and to move on and as the weeks of endless flashbacks to the abuse went on, everything inside of me screamed to be as far away from all of that negativity as possible. I simply had to disconnect myself from the toxic shame spiral within my blood family.
My adult self experienced a lot of understandable guilt over doing this, yet that little girl inside of me had become my everything, literally calling all of the shots and I was eager to let her be heard; it was far past her time.
It had all begun with finally tapping into her and all of my wounded inner children. It turns out their voices had been stifled for long enough; they had a lot to say and wow, are they ever wise, kind and courageous. ❤️
It might sound eccentric, but it has proven to be so true that until these littles inside of us are heard and given a chance to heal these false beliefs which life experiences and people have polluted them with, we will not be free to think like ‘adults,’ to be free of irrational fears, self doubt and insecurities and certainly not free to live up to our full potential when we have the subconscious feelings of unworthiness holding us back.
“...it was necessary for me and once I understood this and took action, my healing sped up rapidly.”
Maybe for others, completely cutting ties is not necessary, but for me it was and once I understood this and took action, my healing sped up rapidly. My brain became clearer, my depression lifted, my confidence boosted and soon enough I began sleeping again for longer than a two hour stretch.
It is certainly not always easy to let go of what no longer serves and surely when people who are toxic to us have such a strong grip and our letting go further feeds the shame spiral, it can be a tough one to stomach. Until we bite the bullet and do what is best for the highest good of All... and surely staying small and denying those deserving of our full presence and potential is not what’s best for All.
As you perhaps are faced with the possibility that it’s time to let go of a relationship you know in your heart to be toxic, take heart in knowing that once you’ve given yourself the chance to step away and fully heal what needs healing in YOU, you might then be able to help them to heal themselves and maybe even your relationship.
If that opportunity doesn’t come and/or you learn that you’re all better off without one another in this life, that is ok, too. Do what you know in your heart is best for you. It isn’t selfish, it is what you and your littles deserve, to be happy, healthy and free. You can always choose to try to rekindle a healthier relationship later.
For now, drop down into your heart and ask what is best for you and for the highest good. You’ll get your answer, where the Truth lies. 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
** Thank you for reading and for doing for yourself what you deserve... to be happy, healthy and free. Like my Facebook page Meg Happens and subscribe to MegHappens.com for notifications on new posts, podcasts, tips and tricks. Happy Healing! 🙌🏼
Do check out my earlier posts on my Meg Happens website for more information and resources on how I healed my own inner child, leaving room for real healing of body, mind, and spirit. Look for upcoming posts on how I healed my trauma as quickly and painlessly as possible by bypassing less effective, more traumatizing therapies and incorporating Dr Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing Therapy. ❤️