(... and some rampant, rambling whining)
I haven’t been feeling as inspired to write lately because
I thought I was done writing about things that make me feel extra vulnerable.. not that it was a bad thing, but I’d just thought that I had tackled most of my demons and can stick to fluff and rainbows from here on out: the truly inspiring stuff. 🤷♀️
Well, damn all this ’being human’ business, because it has been a bit of a tricky month or so, and I’m not feeling very fluffy as I lay here at exactly 4:44 AM (I just looked at the clock- thank you, angels 😇, for the sign yet again that I’m progressing positively even when it doesn’t feel like it.)
“.. It’s easy to lose sight of how far we’ve come..”
In fact, 444 is a sign that is meant in large to remind me to take note of my progress over the last year, because it’s easy to lose sight of how far we’ve come when we fall out of alignment with our own power for a minute.
It’s funny because I’ve actually looked at the clock at 4:44 every single time, morning and afternoon, for days now. 111 has been prevalent as well, in every form, and that one is a reminder when we see it, to think in alignment with what we wish to manifest. So if you are repeatedly seeing the number 1-1-1 in any shape or form (clock, number of miles left before your gas runs out, which happened to me yesterday.. anything!) Rest assured that there are angels with you, reminding you to watch your thoughts in that moment and work on manifesting what you want instead of what you don’t want.
It helps that I’m usually lying here awake a good chunk of the night or early morning because the dreaded insomnia has been creeping back in here and there.
I don’t mean to make this a total vent post, though is there really anything wrong with that? 😬
You know I’m a firm believer in the power of prayer & positivity, and I tell myself constantly that everything that happens to us, is FOR us, even the crappy stuff.
“I do believe there is a lesson in everything...”
I do believe there is a lesson in everything.. so what is up with the string of seemingly never ending mishaps I’ve been having lately? Without going into full on pity party mode 🤞🏼, I’ll briefly summarize (tee hee) that in the last month or two, we’ve battled lots of illness in my household (who hasn’t? It’s winter after all), so I missed an important conference in Nashville I’d been looking forward to, I’ve needed a root canal and another icky dental procedure, I’ve had 2 separate gallbladder attacks keeping me awake and in utter agony all night and into the day (and no, I won’t be having it removed- it’s complicated.) .. know why it’s complicated? .. 🤔because although my health has drastically improved over the last year or so, there are still some mysterious things that are keeping me from being able to safely undergo simple procedures, for example, and from living my best life (I love cliches! 🙊)
As always, I’m not sure what’s the chicken versus the egg, but between the sleepless nights and other stresses, my body isn’t handling normal life stuff too well @ the mo.
I’ve managed to injure myself on three separate occasions just by working out (with a trainer) at the gym.. long story short, I have to take meds for my adrenals and if I don’t ‘stress dose’ enough before any stressor such as working out, I pay later. In this case it was in the form of severe muscle strain and spasm, and back injuries, also making sleep difficult.
“...it’s therapeutic as hell...”
Hmm this is sounding pretty whiny, but Im’a keep going because it’s therapeutic as hell (for me, anyway 😆).
I finally realized that I can’t work out intensely for a while, or at least until my body is calmer and happier.
Surely it doesn’t help that my diet hasn’t stayed super clean, and boozy nights have been creeping their way back in on the weekends (which is about to stop right now!) I’m about to hurl myself back into the straight & narrow, ‘eat to live, don’t live to eat’ lifestyle once again. I have a serious hunch that it’ll stick this time, just in case the universe is gently nudging.. no, more like violently smacking me back to reality, saying, ‘get your shit together, lady; you have an awesome life to live & people to inspire!’
I really wanted to blame Mercury Retrograde, even though I don’t know much about it. Hey, we all like a good scape goat! Seriously though, it just seems far too coincidental that stuff got so.. weird right around that time, and continues to be weird. I know MR happens a few times per year, and have to wonder if the extra crazy stuff might coincide and I just didn’t know about it till now? 🤔
I‘ve had so many silly accidents and I’ve never been accident prone before in my life, not even when I was hobbling around in a foggy coma for months on end.
A couple good examples other than the workout injuries (which by the way, have led to me needing to cancel my gym membership and royally piss them off when I insisted they wave the cancellation fee- hey, I have a doctor’s note! 🤷♀️😂)
... Oh, back to those examples: I opened a plastic dog treats package with my teeth the other week and boinked myself in the eyeball with a sharp corner of the plastic, leading to a nasty scratched cornea, for which I was thankful for a decent eye doctor who prescribed good stuff.
I’m not even kidding you when I say that days later my rambunctious pups came barreling into our bedroom while I was laying down, and decided to take up wrestling directly on my face hole. This of course led to a nasty scratch on my eye lid, which luckily was closed.
Speaking of my beloved dogs, we had a crazy incident last week following my eye ball frenzy, involving one pooch literally getting her jaw stuck around the other’s collar while playing. This led to a full on panic attack for both of them, and they naturally began to maul each other’s faces off. Okay, that’s a smidge embellished.
It wasn’t pretty though, and in fact, terrifying. I didn’t even know why I couldn’t get them apart, and luckily my husband came running in and saw they were unable to detach themselves. Unfortunately, his hand and arm took a beating in the form of bites while trying to separate the terrified twosome. No worries- it truly was an accident and everyone is fine....
But dammit, you guys, that was scary as hell! Borderline traumatic, and my poor kid was hiding in the downstairs bathroom, assuming the dogs must’ve lost their marbles and were mauling our faces off, with the way I was screaming and panicking.
Anyhoozle, I’ma ago ahead and say that it’s probably natural for me to finally be feeling a bit defeated with the most mundane mishaps as of late. Like, WTF is happening here?
Still, I make myself recognize the good in it..blah blah blah.. 😂 Seriously though, at least the fact that no one got seriously injured. Or dead. Lol. 🤦🏼♀️
I guess I’m extra dramatic in the wee hours. You know what I mean; everything feels bigger than it is... except for my knockers, because these babies are bursting through my over the shoulder boulder holder, thanks to crazy hormones. Nope, not knocked up, just thrown off by stress I guess. 🤷♀️
Oh, it’s making me a little moody, too. You might’ve noticed. 😬 I’ve been throwing mini tantrums while writing this as this site is being all sorts of wonky and auto-correcting random words to things like ‘asshat.’ This HAS to be ‘The Mercury Retrograde,’ doesn’t it?!? 🤣 I also feel inclined to use an even more unnatural amount of emojis than usual! 🙊🤦🏼♀️🤣🤷♀️😘
“.. I’ve been in my own head way more than usual, even for a Cancer!”
Seriously, though, I’ve also been in my own head way more than usual, even for a Cancer! Tell me I’m not the only one?!?
My dear (autocorrected to ‘fear’) husband, Scott, picks on me for believing in this stuff, and I would
too if I hadn’t been made a believer by my own experiences over these last few years.
He generally understands me about all the divine intervention stuff because there’s no denying it 🙏🏼, but as far as this MR stuff goes... who knows!
Welp, I had to surrender to my cat and dogs who were
more than ready for me to drag me arse up and tend to their cute, furry butts.
It feels like a good place to end this novella tale of woe by saying that I guess sometimes stuff just happens and turns out I’m not always able to respond to it calmly and maturely. 🤭 And that’s ok, just being a spirit on a human adventure in Bumblefu*k, PA. 🤷♀️
I know this weird cloud will lift soon and there are some things in my control, including my diet and lifestyle choices, so I’m going to embrace those and hang on for the ride. Weeeeee!!!! 🤪
Meanwhile, I’ll get the straight jacket out and maybe pad the walls this weekend, just in case.🤔
I sincerely hope you have a fab weekend sans incident! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼😘
**Thanks for reading and be sure to subscribe to www.meghappens.com and like Meg Happens on Facebook to catch up on the last year of my healing journey.. and so’s not to miss more emoji filled fluff and poop slipper pics! 😘**