Is The Universe Testing You?
Something I’ve learned on my own journey to health and wellness, is that I’m constantly being tested to see if I’ll repeat the same unhealthy patterns or if I’ll finally break free and find a new way.
Perhaps the longest held pattern I’ve had is to turn to addictions to cope with life and stress. Addiction to guilt, shame & self blame, alcohol and food have been the most obvious for me. 🍸 🍪🍕
As I healed myself of childhood trauma, got myself out of fight-or-flight and into a state of healing, many things improved, including the nagging, lying voice of my inner critic, telling me I’m not good enough or deserving of peace, and that I’m unsafe in my skin and in this world.
Inner child healing helped greatly to shift that voice and shed the layers of false beliefs that I had learned in childhood and carried with me. (*Go to my home page here and check out my resources page for info on inner child healing, along with early blog posts I wrote on it). 👧🏼
What wasn’t staying away was food and alcohol addiction. It was never so out of control that I was putting myself or anyone else in danger, but I knew in my heart that it was preventing me from becoming the best version of myself.
My dreams would have to wait until I was truly ready to let those unhealthy coping mechanisms go. 😕
As much as I knew it in my gut, I kept caving and turning to alcohol when uncomfortable and/or triggered and when I was ‘celebrating’ anything at all; kind of like a reward.
Lately I’ve been receiving so many spiritual downloads during meditation and throughout my day, and the main one was screaming at me to pass the drinking test LOL, in order to prove that I’m truly ready to step more fully into my soul purpose here.✨
This voice became louder and louder over the holidays when I found myself once again turning to food and alcohol to cope, numb, celebrate… you name it. 🤷♀️
Just before the New Year began, the voice telling me to stop became deafening to the point that I could no longer ignore it. 💥📣
My angels, guides and ancestors on the other side have been sending so many signs and downloads that it’s time to let addictions and all self defeating thoughts and resentments GO. ✌🏼
And so I did, and haven’t looked back. 🙌🏼
Today I’m being tested by way of gallbladder attack. In the past, I would do a couple shots of gin to ease the spasms, but today I break that pattern and cope a different way.
Today I’m able to listen to my body so closely because I’m clear headed and truly tapped into my soul’s journey and my highest Self.
So today, as soon as symptoms started, I realized that I’d have to pull out all of my other tricks to calm my gallbladder down and to fast instead of eating and inviting more trouble. (For those wondering, removal surgery isn’t necessary and I wouldn’t do it unless it were an emergency. I’ve had attacks for 22 years off and on, and I cope just fine).
This is just another test to prove that I’m truly ready to walk my talk and to step fully into my position as healer and health coach. ❤️
We are all always healing and it is okay to cope however you choose to cope! Just pay attention to that inner voice whispering and sometimes screaming in your ear, to try a different way.
As always, unconditional self love & radical self forgiveness should prevail, so that we can stop the unhelpful toxic shame spiral in its tracks. If we slip up, we forgive ourselves and try again.
How we coped in the past is all we knew at that time. We have the choice as we heal and learn more about ourselves and our triggers, to choose a different way, and to finally leave the past in the past.
We are all unique in our histories and our health; we all have our own set of circumstances and stories that got us where we are today.
Go gentle on yourself and pay attention to that voice when it tells you it’s time to change. When the time is truly right and you’ve learned that lesson that your higher power has been trying to teach you over and over again, it will become easy. Suddenly you’re not triggered as easily or as often and your desire to become your best self overrides the temptation for instant gratification.
It helps to ask aloud for help to remove all blockages to healing/becoming your best self/anything your highest self desires. Put it out there and know that your help is on its way, in divine timing. 🙏🏼
That is where I’m at today: I’m passing the ultimate test and my sobriety wins. 👏🏼 🏆
These last few weeks have been some of the most transformational of my entire journey and I can see now that all of the trauma upheavals of the last several months were necessary for purging what was left of those toxic energies.
I will continue to be tested and I’m here for it!💪🏼
What test have you passed lately? 🤔
What is your intention for the week ahead? 🙏🏼
All my love, soul family! Thanks for sharing in this journey with me. 🥰 xoxo
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