Holy Hormones, Batman
**WARNING: this one is primarily for the ladies and fellas reading, maybe you’ll learn som’n 😘**
First I want to say thank you to those who follow my blog and laugh, maybe cry, celebrate & moan right along with me. Life is an interesting bugger and I so enjoy this outlet of writing my thoughts on things. I know so many people can relate to these mundane and huge life issues, alike.
This morning I want to talk about hormones, or Whoremones, as I like to call them. #sorrynotsorry.
Oh, beautiful, magical, life producing hormones. What ever would we do without you?
(Yes, I used a filter.. what, you think hormones are gonna let me get away with naturally glowing skin? As if!)
Well, let’s see: Without a monthly cycle I’d be much less moody and in much less pain physically and emotionally... I’d have less crazy cravings and more sleep...
On the other hand, my beautiful daughter would not be here without them and I wouldn’t be a woman without them . Sometimes that doesn’t seem like such a bad thing, but do men have it easier? They too go into hormonal overdrive and depending on too much or too little testosterone, for example, they can feel out of control of their own bodies and emotions as well.
Let‘s be honest, though; Women have it a bit rougher.🤷♀️
Not only do we bleed monthly during childbearing years, which comes with its own set of unpleasantries, but we are expected still to do it all and do it with a smile on our faces.
Women are judged on our abilities to be both mother and career woman, preferably self employed entrepreneurs making six figures because we’d better show everyone we are equals! But best do it in a way so’s not to make men feel insecure. 🤔
And God forbid we choose not to have children! That’s a whole other ballgame.
“We are expected to do it all and someone will have something to say either way.”
We are expected to do it all and someone will have something to say either way.
”Stay at home moms have it so ‘easy. They should get a job.“
“What’s wrong with working moms? Don’t they know their family should come first over any job?’
We can’t win in a society that revolves around success and status. God Bless America and all that.
Snide sarcasm aside (and if you guessed that I have RAGING PMS right now, you‘d be right 😈), hormones play a huge factor in our mental, emotional, and physical state.
I’ve never understood why some women so refuse to admit that hormones do play a huge part in our well being. Maybe it’s the stigma that goes along with it or the feeling that we are out of control of our own minds and bodies to some degree? 🤔
Welp, I’ll be the first admit that I have felt quite out of control over these many magical years of womanhood. I‘ve also had my easier times when either things were more balanced in my body or maybe life circumstances left me feeling lucky, but overall, these little things called hormones have been a real bitch! 🤷♀️
Without getting into my entire history with health and hormonal effects, I’ll say that they have really done a number on me. I’ve been estrogen dominant since after my daughter was born ten years ago and low progesterone isn’t pretty when your body is supposed to be balancing them out on its own.
“In hindsight, deep rooted trauma likely began the domino cascade effect of hormonal woes...”
In hindsight, deep rooted trauma likely began the domino cascade effect of hormonal woes when, right off the bat, my endocrine system took a hit and my body got used to constant stress and fight-or-flight, which leads to imbalances and surely enough, over the years, my hormonal glands have sort of tanked out one-by-one.
Hormone replacement has been both frustrating and in the end, helpful and necessary. But the fact is that it’s basically impossible to mimic nature. I sure as hell can try, though!
When doctors and even endocrinologists couldn’t figure it out, you’d better believe I was on my computer researching the endocrine system and balancing female hormones night and day, until I figured out what I likely needed for me. This involved ordering labs and asking doctors to order labs and trying to balance things on my own. Only I know my body. It wasn’t easy to do this with 90% foggy brain on next-to-no sleep, but we do what we gotsta do.
Trouble is, it’s not always easy to get it right and sometimes out of desperation, we lose patience and judgment and eff ourselves up even worse.
I did, anyhow, when I thought that adding progesterone would be helpful and harmless and surely since the doctor said it’s ’like drinking water- impossible to overdose...’ surely I’d be okay to take a little.. or a lot, extra.
“It was one of the biggest lessons of my life...”
It was one of the biggest lessons of my life as it wreaked such havoc on my system and took years to detox it from fat cells. My hair loss rapidly worsened to the point that we figured we might as well shave my head and start all over! Looking back, I was reliving trauma so deep down and my own body was triggering me left and right. There’s that hindsight again. 🙄
Fast forward to today and I’m 39 and not yet showing signs of perimenopause, but after two recent early miscarriages, my cycle is wonky and hormones raging.
In a nutshell, I want to murder you and your mother. (Too far? Good, because I’m kidding. 😬)
I did flip my shit on my kid in front of her friend for not cleaning up after I asked her for the umpteenth time. I also found myself complaining over every minute detail while on a waterpark adventure earlier in the week, which is so unlike me. Normal Hormone Meg rolls with the punches and goes with the flow, understanding that not everything is within my control and sweating the small stuff is useless.
Hormonal Woe Meg is tearing up over the love for her child in her exploding heart one minute and literally punching the wall over spilled milk the next.
My period is late after a weird couple months of miscarriages and I feel more premenstrual moodiness than I have in a long time.
The good news is that I’ve come out of it before and I will again. Surely my body is still adjusting to getting back to its norm.
I’ve also strayed from my super clean diet lately and although I’m finally back on track, all the processed junk I ate leading up till now has really made PMS symptoms worse.
Due to inflammatory joint pain, exercise has been less, and inactivity only fuels the fire.
“Lesson learned the hard way again that diet is so important.”
Lesson learned the hard way again that diet is so important in every aspect of life and health, more for some of us than others.
I can only hope that God has mercy on me when it comes to menopause time! Maybe I’ll be one of the lucky ones who hardly knows it’s happening. Hey, miracles happen!
Meanwhile, if you see me out and about over the coming days and I look like my head is about to explode, it’s me, not you. Maybe steer clear 😂.
We have construction workers up in our house for the last 6+ weeks when we were told it would take 4 weeks, so you can imagine how my often irritated and also hormonal ass is handling that. 🤦🏼♀️ The good news is I think my assertiveness finally lit a fire under their asses to get it done. 🤷♀️
I just don’t give a flying monkey fart about bathroom decor or detail. Just give me running water, a toilet and a tub and get up out my house, please & thank you. But my precious and patient husband has honored my need for privacy for years and he can have this one project for Pete’s sake!
Dammit, I guess I’ll keep my moaning to a minimum from here on out, grit my teeth, and maybe offer these fellas some coffee. 😂
Me in a few days time:
For now, I’ll acknowledge and accept that I’m moody and that it’s temporary. I know that it can’t literally be everyone else who’s the problem, so it must be me, and this too shall pass.
I forgive me for being a raging A-hole and for feeling a bit out of control.
I tend to be hard on myself when I can’t fully appreciate every single second of life and how good I have it now that I’m healing, but hell, I’m only a spirit having a very human adventure and I’ll try to remind myself to enjoy the ride. Weeeeee!!!!
(Sometimes you just have to write a whiny, rambling blog post and love yourself anyway.)
Hope your hormones aren’t being a huge dick and hope you have a great weekend. Happy Healing! 😬